How to forget.

I takes forever for you to reply my msg. It seems like you went out for a drink with frens.... By the time you reach home it was almost midnite. And you were tired.... Do you know that I miss you??

I just dont know... I was wondering if you have forgotten him. It was his birthday yesterday. I cant bring myself to ask you. I am afraid of the answer. I dont know what should I do. Why do I care about you so much????

Do you know what will happen if you keep on seeing him? But I cant tell you this my dear. Cos I dont think I'm good enough for you. But I also know that you will be hurt again and again if you are with him. Maybe some day you will find someone who is good enough for you.

Maybe only then I can finally let you go.....

I'm Still Missing You

Don't know how many time have I checked my phone today, hoping for a message that will never come. Why do I miss her so much I don't really know. She hasn't texted me for quite some time, but I still keep on checking my phone. Wishing that she still have me on her mind.

Why am I fooling myself???

She cried and I cried with her. And when she is happy, I cried even more. Because she is happy with the other guy. It HURTS.................:(

I wish I was that guy.

Right now I just wish that I could forget her...
Forget that she ever loved me...
Forget everything...
So i wouldn't hurt anymore.

Hurt, hurts and still hurting....

I still miss you dear. I dont think that I'll ever forget you. It just hurts so much when I see you with him. I wish with all my heart that it is me that is with you and not him. But all I can do is trying not to see you two together.

You said that you are hurt when you saw him with other girls. Well my dear, I'm hurt a hundred times more. Well why you may ask... At least he said he loves you, while for me ...
You once loved me. That's why I love you. And I always will my dear... Forever!

I've cried night after night. Hoping that the pain will go away. But my wishes are all in vain. I'm still hurt when i see both of you together.It is becoming unbearable... I don't know what to do. All I know is I dont want to be hurt anymore.

The only way I know is not seeing you ever again. It may hurt but at least it will not hurt as much as seeing you with the other guy. Then i can pretend that you still love me like once you did.

Lonely...

I never knew what loneliness is until I met her. That is after she ignored me for another guy. I felt really useless. Don't think i can take it anymore. The feeling is unbearable for me. When she had a fight with her guy, she would come to me. And when they are back together again, I'm ignored.

Tears are forming in my eyes as I blogged this and a lump is forming in my throat. :(

Why God??? WHY???

I wish I don't have to feel this way. It is really unbearable. I ask God to take my life away so that I don't have to feel like this. Somehow I'm still here.

What did I do to deserve this? Please help me...

Heartbreak!

Never knew that love could hurt so much. I really wish that I'm not hurt but I am. Wish I could be happy for them but... Seeing both of them together.... It just shatters my heart. I don't know how else to express it. All I can do is cry. I know man shouldn't cry but I just can't help it. The tears just form in the eyes. And my breathing, I had forgotten how it was to cry.

I don't know what should I do. Am I bad? For wanting them to break up? GOD!!! Please help me.... Tell me what should I do?
Tell me!!!!!
Tell me...
Tell me..
Tell me.

Don't want to be hurt anymore...

The Day That She Loves Me Will Be The Day That I Die

I'm slowly getting over her. I still miss her. She is still the first thing that pops into my mind everytime I wake up. But I don't feel as depressed as before.

Maybe I'm getting used to it. At least now I can be happy without her affecting everything that I do. When she stopped texting me, I was really depressed. Life is without joy. Dont feel like I could ever smile. It is a good thing that I have my family. Though they didn't know what was happening, I gained strength from them.
If not then I really think I would have committed suicide.

Actually nobody knows that I loved her. Is that really love? I don't know...
Only recently I told a fren about it. It really helps when you share your problems

with others. But I never share my feelings with anyone. This is my first time.

Now only this blog is the place for me to express my feelings. My only hope is that
nobody I know reads this.

Is this a Threat??

After the meeting last nite:

Hers: I miss you dear. Good nite n sweet dreams. *hugs*

Then I replied that I miss her too.


***7108 01:32:38 29-05-2008
Don be too happy.. Its fake.. She miss u? She's just using you..

My reply: Thanks. Good nite.

***7108 01:36:49 29-05-2008
Thanks? Ur willing to be used by her? How long do you wan to be used by her?


***7108 01:32:38 29-05-2008
Guess u'll be telling her that I texted u.. Thanks anyways..

At this point I tried to call her. But she didn't answer. Then came this sms.

***7108 01:50:31 29-05-2008
If u tell her anythin I won't let go of u..
Are you threatening me now my friend? But I still ignored him. Then came this sms.


***7108 01:54:17 29-05-2008
I just need a little respect from you.. U know that she's still my gf so pls don try to do anything.. I just need a little respect from u.. I'm begging u.. Pls..

Well... She suffered a lot when she is with you. How do I know she is still your gf? She told me you two broke up already. You are dreaming my friend. And maybe so am I.

If only you ask this nicely the first time, I would have ignored your sms. But now I felt like I need to tell her. You have been checking her sms?